Not Anything by Carmen Rodrigues

Author:Carmen Rodrigues [Rodrigues, Carmen]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: Penguin Group USA, Inc.
Published: 2010-02-28T20:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-TWO

amends

at two fifteen a.m. i call marisol’s private phone line. i figure by now she should be home, tucked in bed, watching Nick at Nite. So I almost hang up the phone when she answers it half asleep.

“Marisol?” Despite my two-hour pep talk, my voice is tentative.

“Yeah? Who’s this?”

Of course, I know that she knows it’s me. Of course, I know that she’s trying to be cold. But still, I give her the benefit of the doubt. “It’s me, Susie.”

“Yeah,” Marisol says, sounding resigned. “I know. What do you want?”

So much for the benefit of the doubt.

“Were you sleeping?” I ask stupidly. Obviously she was sleeping.

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay…” I lose my nerve, and, for me, apologies require massive doses of nerve. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“No, you woke me up. Just tell me what you want.”

The problem with Marisol is that she’s always pretty good at calling people out. She likes follow-through, even if it means stumbling through the worst part of it.

“Well, the thing is…The thing is I’m sorry.” I say it in one breath because I’m honestly afraid that if I don’t, I never will.

“You’re what?” Marisol’s voice is softer now.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her again, only this time the words don’t run together, and I take a deep breath to continue the thought. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad for having a date to homecoming. I didn’t mean to. I mean…I guess, in my own way, I was jealous, and a little bit insecure, and afraid that I was going to lose you.”

Once the words start, they flow. I think on some subconscious level I’ve been analyzing this fight for the better part of the week, especially during those moments watching Tyra.

“Susie, what would make you think that you were going to lose me?” Leave it to Marisol to get to the point.

“Not lose you entirely,” I say quickly, “but lose out on doing stuff with you. I don’t want to be the third wheel on a Friday night. I don’t want for us not to have our movie night, or hang out on Halloween…I don’t want to lose that.” I try to sniffle quietly. I’m crying. How stupid is that? I keep telling myself that this week shouldn’t have been so hard for me. But it has been.

“Susie, maybe—and I’m not saying that’s going to happen with this guy—but maybe, just maybe, we’re not going to be able to spend so much time together when we’re older, but would that be such a bad thing? Think about it. It’ll give us more to talk to each other about. Right?”

“Uh-huh.” I brush the tears away with the back of my hand. They’re sliding like puddles down my cheeks.

“You’re like my sister. You’re never going to lose that. I will never let any guy come between that. ’Kay?”

“Yeah,” I whisper into the phone. “But what about my mother’s memorial service?” I ask.

“I’m not going skiing,” she says. “I made that decision before you called me. I’m sorry that I even asked you.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.